Personal Notes from Kyle and Brad

Since we started making friends over the 'net and collected a group of fans for my artwork and stories, I first of all want to thank you for your expressions of friendship and concern for us and for my health issues over the past several months. I have made a near full recovery from the infection and it's effects on me, my strength is nearly back, my weight is getting back up to where it was, and my latest bloodwork came back showing everything in order except for being slightly anemic.

The docs were never willing to admit that I had been infected with CA-MRSA until my doctor forced the issue. They don't want to admit to MESA because it looks bad for them. They kept telling me that there were four different strains of bacteria working together and that the test results were "inconclusive" for MRSA. Now that I am better, and I have passed the 30 day mark with no recurring signs of infection, they are a little more willing to admit the cause, although the actual source of the infection is still unclear. One of the patients I worked with prior to getting seriously ill had vomited on me and I got fluids in my eyes and mouth. The patient died about two weeks later. The lab said the two bacteria samples "didn't quite match" but they did list MRSA as the cause of his death.

Anyways, I am much better now, gaining back most the strength I lost. I will be able to go back to working as an EMT as soon as I am infection free for 60 days and my weight is over 150 again.

Brad is soon going to finish his night classes at the college and will be put on regular duty as a Deputy Sheriff and will be working regular patrol duty. He has kept his grades up, he has worked days at the Sheriff's office and he has been spending every free moment by my side, even sleeping in the chair by my bed while I was in the hospital. My love goes out to him for his unwavering devotion and tender care. I am the luckiest man alive. Thanks Brad.

Below is the post that Brad put up on the Depictions of Death blog for those of you that have not seen it before.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi, Brad here. I wanted to let you know some of what has been happening here in the last couple of months.
Some of you know that Kyle has had problems with a mysterious infection that the doctors were struggling to cure. They still are unsure where it came from but it showed up as an internal infection that seemed to jump from place to place as they tried to get it under control. He was in two separate hospitals with the injury to his nose, the emergency room here and the hospital in Albany during the re-certification classes there, plus he was working as an EMT and got exposed to a serious infection by a patient that got fluids in Kyle's eyes, nose and mouth. Kyle was in and out of the hospital several times before being admitted on Sept 12 to stay for a month. I really thought we were going to lose him. He was so sick that he could barely respond to me or the doctors. He lost 44 pounds down to 130 lbs. He didn't have any fat to lose in the first place. They kept pumping him full of antibiotics and trying to clear things up only to have it show up somewhere else.
About two weeks ago they finally got it cleared up but he was so weak that he could barely stand it to sit up in a wheel chair for as little as half an hour at a time. I thought that he looked a lot better and he was responding to people like he was mentally back to normal. They moved him out of ICU and he started getting stronger again.
He went through physical therapy as he slowly got his strength back and finally was able to walk without a walker. They let him come home Friday (Oct. 9th) - one day short of four weeks in the hospital. He is feeling a lot better but still has to go in for therapy three times a week.
I am so glad to have him back. Carl has been here for several weeks, trying to help with business matters and spend time with Kyle. My parents have been really supportive as well. They have kind of "adopted" him and think a lot of him. My mom broke down and cried when he was at his worst because we thought he might not make it. We are all relieved that he is finally able to come home and is getting stronger by the day.
Another couple of points worth mentioning here
Kyle's mother died when he was 10 years old. She died of a staph infection while in the hospital for something else. (Kyle's dad died in an accident when he was 2.)
The patient that threw up in Kyle's face while Kyle was attending to him as an EMT died several days later in the hospital. The hospital did not tell us. We found out from one of the EMTs that stopped in to visit Kyle during one of the shorter stays in the hospital.
Somewhere in the midst of all of this, flickr decided to delete my account - no warning and no explanation given, as well as no response to my inquiries. I was pissed and decided to drop all internet crap, mostly because I was just too preoccupied. I apologize to all of you for not letting you know what was going on. Kyle has no interest in getting on the computer for the time being. He has asked me to let people know that he is going to be back, but doesn't know when. He wants to thank those of you that have asked about him, and those that have sent well wishes, and I thank you as well.
I will let you know how things are going as he gets better, and hopefully soon he will write to you himself. He wants to go to the stable and see Harley (his horse) which we are going to try later this afternoon.
Carl sends his thanks for your prayers and well wishes. - He is wearing a cast on his ankle through all of this... He broke it on a rig in Colorado. The cast comes off this week.
Kyle is in good spirits now that he is finally home. He will be working out and exercising hopefully to get his strength and weight back. He is eating better than I have ever seen him. I guess that is a good sign.
Brad

Personal Note

The original purpose for this blog was to offer a forum for people to tell their stories if they suffered through the trauma and emotional distress of being homosexually raped, or had other gay related issues that they wanted to share with others.

Since there has been so little response, I am going to modify the format.

An Invitation for you

Remember that this is a place for you to put your story out there for others to read and learn from. It is also a place to respond to those who have shared with us.

Please feel free to respond or to submit your stories.

This to the guy that molested me...
A few years ago I was a reasonably happy high school student, in my senior year, working evenings as a gas station attendant. I was eighteen so I was able to work later at night. I had a dark secret. I was seriously attracted to men. I was strong, athletic and hung but I had never yet had sex with another guy. Mostly afraid of being "outed" by someone, I suppose. I was good at sports especially gymnastics and wrestling. I actually placed in the state finals in wrestling. Handsome and strong I had my choice of any of the girls I wanted so keeping my secret was not that hard.

One night, while working at the gas station, I was robbed at gunpoint. The guy was so scared that I could feel him trembling as he pressed the loaded, cocked revolver against the back of my head as he ordered me to open the cash drawer. I fully expected him to kill me after getting the money and maybe before because he was shaking so badly he could pull the trigger at any moment by accident. I got the drawer open and he forced me into the back room and into the restroom. He told me not to try to get out for an hour or he would kill me. He tipped a file cabinet over against the door to keep me from getting out of the door, and left.

I heard him drive off and climbed out of the window, called the police and waited.

While the police were there, another man, who had talked with me several times before, stopped in because of all the police cars there. He had talked about my schoolwork, which I did while waiting for customers, and my drawings, which were mostly of men in various fighting scenes. He was friendly but not obviously dangerous. He came in and asked what had happened. I told him about the robbery. My boss told me that I could leave early if I wanted to and this other guy offered to take me home. I was still quite shaken by the robbery so I gladly accepted his offer. After I got into his car, he said "How about stopping at my house for some coffee or something to calm down some." He said that it might help to talk things over to get it off my chest. Like an idiot, I accepted his offer.

When we got to his house we went inside and I was impressed by his collection of guns, knives, and swords. He made coffee and we went into his living room to talk. His conversation gradually changed from talk about the robbery to general chit-chat and then to more personal things. Part of the problem of being "hung" is that it is hard to conceal. He started talking about girls, dating and sex. I listened and tried to sound interested. His conversation switched to me. He told me that I was a real knockout for the girls and that I needed to let the girls see my package - show it off more. I started getting uncomfortable with that suggestion, not sure where he was going with it.

Then he brought out his magazines. Nudist pictures. Men and women wandering about completely naked. Now he had my attention. I was trying to act interested in the women but some of those men...

Then it happened. He suggested that I let him adjust my package for the fullest effect. I refused to let him at first but he pulled one of his knives out and laid it on the couch on the other side of himself from me. He never said anything about the knife but I got the message.
He tried to talk me into screwing him in the ass but I was too nervous and afraid of him to do anything like that. He ended up giving me a blowjob and forcing me to jerk him off at the same time. I had never had any sex with another man and this guy was almost enough to drive me straight.

He came around a few nights later at the gas station to "apologize" and see how I was doing. I gave him some short answers and told him to leave. When I was taking the deposit to the bank
later that night, he followed me to the bank and again showed me his knife, forced me into his car and back to his house. The second time was a real horror. Much worse than the first time.

I called the police later but they told me that I was going to have to swear out statements, complaints, and testify in court. I was dumb enough to chicken out because of fear of being outed, or for that matter even being in the news as having been raped by a scumbag like him.

Years afterward I wish I had the guts at the time to get him locked up, and I have to wonder how many other kids he had done that to, before me, and after me. How many kids had to suffer because I never said anything. If I had been under eighteen when that happened to me, he would have gone to jail after my call to the police that night. If. Being of "legal age" I had to prove that I did not give consent to him. - How do you do that???

There are a lot of predators out there looking for young, naive and vulnerable kids to prey on. It is already too late for me and for many like me. Don't carry this secret any longer.

Tell your story.